Making effective decisions about the care of a loved one often takes more time than expected.

Making effective decisions about the care of a loved one often takes more time than expected and requires an understanding of the long-term-care system. But a proactive approach can yield better options when the time comes and can head off a family emergency: Talk early and often. Understand your parents’ preferences as they age. Don’t make assumptions about what type of care they may or may not accept. Instead, respect their autonomy. Rather than starting off with an admonition (for example, “You have to …”), lead with an empathic statement such as, “I am worried about you because … if…

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